Maturity
by KenRik
Summary: We all have different priorities, just because we don't pursue the same things, doesn't make me less of who you are. RyoSaku. TomoKai.


Disclaimer: I do not own the Prince of Tennis.

* * *

For the longest time, Sakuno dreamt of being with him; attached to him— romantically. She'd often spend time daydreaming and believing the day would come when his eyes would finally soften and gaze at her in the most loving fashion, like he did countless of times in her fantasies. For the longest time, she ached. Terribly and dreadfully ached— to have this relationship, a mutual affair, with him and only him— the handsome young man with the distinct exotic jawline; the frayed ebony locks; and the sharp glittering chesnut eyes.

He was her inspiration, her friend, and her confidant.

She had long hoped, as she deliriously allowed herself to, for a time she'd be able to freely shower Ryoma with a wave of welcomed affection, no matter how fleeting. But after four years of fruitless efforts; of repeated impossibilities, with a heavy sigh she's kept for over four years, she raised her hand. And with a whisper of finality, she threw in the white towel. As she watched him from the other end the restaurant floor of Kawamura's sushi bar with self-pity tucked behind a gleaming smile, she reclined on her seat, lightly laughed at Horio's joke, and told herself in content resignation— she was done.

**Maturity**.

That same night, she waved good night to Tomoka and Kaidoh, her boyfriend and turned to walk home.

Funny thing, she thought as she remembered how Tomoka and Kaidoh got together around a year ago, the two had been unofficially together for about a year before that. No commitment, no conflict as Tomoka would always say. Until the point came when Tomoka was being pursued by a number of guys from school, whining and forcing her to go out with them. Kaidoh didn't seem to care. So, the independent Tomoka, to end things, decided to go out with one guy— something she didn't keep from her unofficial boyfriend as she so told him that day before.

"Hey." Tomoka had said lightly over the phone. She heard an acknowledging hiss from the other end. "I'll be at the movie house today so I won't be able to drop by the courts."

"Fine."

"Okay." Tomoka muttered, her brow twitched. "I'm going."

"Whatever." Kaidoh said monotonously. His smartphone was in between his cheek and shoulder as he wore his tennis shoes. Tomoka, on the other hand inside her house, grew annoyed at his continued disinterest.

"Fine!"

Kaidoh sighed, wondering to himself if Tomoka was on her monthly period. If she was, he supposed it would be wise to stay clear off her the next few days.

"Hn."

"Urgh! Is that all you have to say?!" Tomoka suddenly screeched over her phone, deafening Kaidoh for a second.

"What the hell is wrong with you, woman?!" He had to hold his phone away from his ear. Still, he could clearly hear her screaming.

"I'm going to the movie house, dammit! And you aren't even wondering who I'm going with!"

"Why should I?" Kaidoh couldn't help but mimic the high tone of her voice.

"Because I'm going out with a guy, you ass!" She cried in deliria and hung up. Kaidoh could only stare at the red blinking light on his phone, indicating that the call ended.

Later that day, during practice matches, Kaidoh seemed out of sorts. On the courtsides, Sakuno watched her schoolmate with an all-knowing frown. Picking up a water bottle from the cooler the team had brought, she offered her forlorn, thus angry and irritated, upperclassman, the drink, hoping to initiate some form of conversation. Talking to Kaidoh was quite a challenge, and ever since he started going out with her best friend, she tried taking up the challenge more often than not.

"She went out with a guy."

Slightly taken back by his sudden dialogue, Sakuno tried her best to look as sympathetic as she could. She placed her racket on the seat beside her and told Kaidoh with earnest.

"Then go to her. Tell her how you feel."

"I don't even know what I feel." Kaidoh hissed more than sighed. The constant _pok_ of the ongoing game filled the lengthy silence that ensued after.

Another deep breath; another lengthy sigh brought Sakuno to look up at her senpai.

"I think you-

_pok. _Sharp onyx eyes met her gaze.

-already do."

It took another few games before Kaidoh finally reached a conclusion. He was playing against Ryoma at the time. And just as he was about to return his opponent's serve, he froze. Right on the other end of the court, past Ryoma and the benches, was Tomoka staring directly at him with arms crossed over her chest and a chin held high. And beneath her fray of bangs were furious hazel eyes feigning nonchalance.

That instant he saw her, he could swear hurt flashed through her eyes.

Suddenly, he heard several voices suddenly scream his name, and a light utter of "Mada mada dane" before something knocked him out on the head. Seconds after, when he regained consciousness, he was lying on the middle of the court, the rays of the sun blinding him with white.

"Idiot." A voice he's known too well muttered in frustration, gently caressing the side of his face.

His sharp eyes squinted, trying to wear out the blinding light. It took four blinks before he found Tomoka's flushed face looking down at him with a million emotions coursing through her eyes, her smile, and her touch.

They told him that everything was alright, that she will always be beside him, that she could wait, that she was content, that she was happy, and that, no matter what, she has gotten to love him, and would continue on loving him, regardless.

It took a moment, a croak, a hoarse breath, but he was able to utter it. Those sweet words the beautiful lady cradling him all but ached for.

"Let's be exclusive."

Hearing this, Tomoka cried in joy and couldn't help but embrace Kaidoh's head, causing his face to flush shades redder. The players surrounding them wondered to themselves what was happening. Sakuno, on the other hand, squealed in delight while the young man beside her merely rolled his Cheshire eyes.

They were fifteen at the time.

At sixteen, they were the most mature couple Sakuno knew from their age group. Mostly everyone she knew was either on their fourth or more relationship. Thinking about it, she wondered if Ryoma ever had a girlfriend. Being the silent, nonchalant guy he was, it was possible he did have one amidst their knowledge. As he have told them a number of times before, "It's not anyone's business."

Suddenly, Sakuno froze on her tracks at the realization.

God. She thought. It all made so much sense now. Maybe, Ryoma had a girlfriend all this time. After all, she didn't know where he was 24/7, most especially when he was out of the country. Honestly, her consciousness continued as the cold wind blew, what if he already found the love of his life and just wasn't telling them?

If so, God was Ryoma so cruel.

Without being able to help it, tears started flowing down her eyes. She couldn't help but ask herself what was wrong with her? Why couldn't Ryoma see her as more than a friend? After all, they did have their moments. Or did she just make something more out of nothing?

This was a foul sickness, she cursed. She begged herself now, more than anything, to be more mature and accepting. To let go of her feelings and work towards making something more of herself.

Honestly speaking, she didn't even know how she got into this so deeply. Was she just so blind, so stupid?

After all, she was crying her heart out in the dead of night, out in the open streets.

"Ryuzaki-chan?"

Through her blurry vision, Sakuno was able to make out Nanako's figure. And without a second later, she fell into her arms, sobbing to her heart's content.

.

.

.

.

He didn't know how to go about it. But he was genuinely concerned. Sakuno looked fine, nothing out of the norm. Her cheeks were of the usual red. And not that he was a great reader of eyes, but to him, she looked happy enough. Still, what Nanako told him last night placed him in suspicion. So without warning, during lunch break, he approached Sakuno and asked her crudely; flatly,

"What's bothering you?"

It took her a moment and a raised brow before answering back.

"I'm sorry?"

"I mean, I don't know. You look fine." Ryoma said then gritted, realizing he made no sense at all. And the number of eyes looking at him increased with every passing second.

"Hm… thank you?"

"OK, then." Ryoma finally uttered before awkwardly walking away. Then, he heard from some corner of the room.

"That was weird, wasn't it?" Ryoma could swear someone nodded.

Great. He groaned inwardly.

.

.

.

.

"Unrequited love, or something a lot like it. That's what's bothering me." Sakuno finally told him around a week later as she walked with Ryoma to get their rackets restrung. The young man took a while before responding. And when he did, all he could say was,

"Ah."

Sakuno smiled.

"Have you ever felt that before? Being heartbroken, I mean."

"I don't think so." Ryoma looked away. "Never really thought about it."

"Well, you've liked someone at least, right?"

"Hmm, I don't know."

"How come—"

"Gomen." Ryoma cut her, finally reaching the store. And before opening the door, told her before entering. "I don't think I'm the one you should be talking to about this."

"Of course." Sakuno said with a lukewarm smile, bowing her head in remission. She was Sakuno. And she knew, better than anyone that absolutely nothing would come from initiating such a conversation with Ryoma.

The bells from the sliding door rang as Ryoma pulled them open. Sakuno was about to follow in step, into the shop, only to be blocked by her classmate's sudden halt. Doe eyes looked up to find sharp golden eyes staring back.

"But," Her friend started. "If ever I do get anywhere close to this, whatever you say it is, I'm pretty sure you'll be the first to know."

With that, Sakuno's stomach couldn't help but flutter.

.

.

.

.

In the coming days, months, and years, she matured. She accepted the distance that formed itself around them that came with this admission. Ryoma left to pursue tennis. She stayed and continued studying. A number of somethings like love came and went. Eventually, her studies took her in. Classmates and professors challenged her. Deaths and births greeted her.

And gradually, she noticed, in the few times she's seen Ryoma throughout the years that followed, in his eyes, his half smiles, and the distance he's somehow managed to close, that he was right. Even before he realized it, she was the first to know.

At the age of twenty-one, Ryoma had fallen in love.


End file.
